“Why did you carry this alone?” I asked.
He set his keys down slowly. His shoulders dropped as though something invisible had finally released him.
“Because I thought one of us had to stay standing,” he said. “You stopped eating for a month, Maren. You stopped sleeping. I watched you disappear, and I swore to myself I would not add my weight to yours.”
His voice broke on the final word. And then, for the first time in our marriage, he sobbed.
I crossed the kitchen and pulled him into my arms. He folded against my shoulder like a man who had been holding his breath for two years.
“I lost him too,” I whispered. “I just hid it behind you.”
“I know.”
“I resented you for being okay,” I said. “You were never okay. I just needed you to be, so I didn’t have to feel it.”
He nodded against my neck. I held him tighter.
When the crying eased, I asked him, “Why did Ivy think Rachel was paying you to cry?”
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Nolan sighed heavily. “She came into the garage one day while I was having a session via video call. She overheard us talking about payment, and crying, and I guess she got confused.”
I chuckled then. I could not help it. “Typical kid, huh?”
Nolan nodded.
The next morning, I called Rachel’s office and asked if she took couples.
Weeks later, the three of us planted a small maple tree in the backyard for Eli.
Afterward, Nolan knelt in the dirt and cried without covering his face